The chances of you thinking less of me after reading this are high. Please don't continue reading if you can't take a good ol' bad attitude post.
I have been waiting for a break down. I think it hit me a half hour ago.
Luckily I am still not progressing cause I feel like I am not ready anymore. I feel bad for my Rush boy to be coming to such a crazy lady. I feel like it should still be September. I am not ready for Christmas. I need to buy books still. Still no word on a house. One of Jords classes isn't registered anymore. We can't find the keys to Dora and I am positive they are buried in a pile of plowed snow, and so we will probably have to pay to have our car re-keyed. awesome. I feel completely crazy for thinking I am ready to be a mom. I don't know if I am ready to move to New Mexico. I dont think a Dr. Pepper will fix this.
Since the Christmas Devotional a few Sundays ago, I have been thinking a lot about Mary. What a wonderful calling it is to be a mother! I think about how overwhelmed I feel, and I think of how she must have felt. She was to raise the Son of God. She was to be responsible for the Savior of the world. I jokingly told my mom riding a donkey at 9 months pregnant is the last thing I want to do... As I am sure she had to of felt. I can't imagine bringing the King of the World into this life in lowly stable. I am mad at myself. I have been so busy with thinking about everything but the Christmas season I have once again forgotten the true meaning. I want to be able to be close to the spirit this Christmas season. I want to have thoughts of Mary close to me. I want to remember that my little boy will be born close to the day of the Savior. What a special thing for the both of us. I can't wait for tonight. We are having the Shea Flake Christmas party, and it is probably the best party of the year. I hope it will snap me out of my pitty party, and put Christmas Spirit in me full force.
UPDATE: I feel kinda bad for complaining now. Sorry. We found our keys, hidden where we looked 1000 times, and we got into the class that we haven't been able to. Not so bad I guess...
2 comments:
O Tiffy! Things always work out! Don't think too much! I remember my dad telling me that plenty of times. Go to the primary song book read o hush thee my baby and everything will be alright. I had to attept to sing it in church. Just be grateful...thats the only way to be. Love you! Can't wait to meet Rush and you will be a lovely mom. You'll see. He'll love you and think your the best cuz your his mommy.
Amen Ashley! You'll be the perfect mom for Mr. Rush. And it's okay to complain! Life is a roller coaster, for sure!!
Love you Tiffy! (Hurry T Rush!!) ;)
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